What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 29.06.2025 00:00
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Plug Power Stock Is Heating Up On Short Squeeze Hopes. Should You Buy PLUG Here? - Barchart.com
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Kroger faces massive worker walkout, closed stores - TheStreet
I said to her
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
UNAIDS Executive Director: ‘The HIV Response Is in Crisis’ - Bloomberg.com
Where the ultimate outsiders.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Where to Watch Le Mans Live Stream 24-Hour Race Online for Free From Anywhere - Business Insider
I couldn’t, believe it.
I could never make a relationship work though!
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Pokémon Fan Loses "20 Years Worth Of Data" After Performing Switch 2 Transfer - Nintendo Life
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Im still living with it.
Rocket Report: Northrop backs Firefly and names its rocket; Xodiac will fly no more - Ars Technica
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
I waited trembling.
I write beautiful poetry .
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Can we buy cheap whey protein from an Amazon brand like Nakpro Power US? Is it safe to eat?
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Meteor Activity Outlook for June 7-13, 2025 - American Meteor Society
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Why do flat Earthers exist? Why can’t I see the Sun at night? Is it because Earth is not flat?
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Protester shot and killed at ‘No Kings’ rally in Utah, police say - AP News
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
As i do to all so called friends.?
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
How come Jesus died on Friday and rose on Sunday? That's not 3 days and three nights.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
It was going to be , some day.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
My mum and dad in the seventies!
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
This is soul school!.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
When she asked me how she looked .
But it wasn’t much.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
We were not on the streets..
She loved him until the end.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I have no regrets .
I know ,a lot about trauma.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
One cannot live in the past .
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
All the time i was locked up.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Especially a lifetime of it.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
He resisted the act ,that day.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
He was dying to do it , i knew.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
My life is so biszare .
Would this be the day?
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
What did i know ?
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
She married twice! .
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
The only rule us 5 kids had .
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Comes on , in middle age.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Who then, do I blame.?
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
So whats the point in blame.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
We all went to grammer schools
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I was very sick at this time too.
She found it foreign!.
Why did i forgive my father ?
He knew the spot.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
But ive been too sick for many years..
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Ive learnt so much.
Put me off passion for life!!
I think the readers, may guess!
(And it was in our own minds.)
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
My family never makes their pension either.
So, i spoilt her more .
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I will be 64.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
She was in good health!
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
I was 9 years of age.
I was seconnd youngest,
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
But, we were locked up after school.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Was to survive, this bastard.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I don,t even have a pension.
She wouldn,t have been !
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I never cut or harmed myself..
And i lived it daily.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
I was scared of men, in general
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!